So I promised that I'd give you Freddie's insight into the investment banking world and its relationship with royalty - most notably the recently resigned UK's special representative for international trade (although most Brits know him as "Air Miles Andy"). Now please bear in mind that Freddie and the chaps have come across the "special representative" on a few occasions and have even dined with him at his mom's place in London, so haven't had the need to tap his mobile phone or voicemail, although I'm not sure he'd use voicemail as he'd have to remember the pin code which might be somewhat tiresome.
Anyway, he has made an outstanding job of making friends with the newly founded ruling classes of Central Asia and certainly seems to have an eye for the babes. At the same time, there are plenty of CEO's who think he's been pretty good value for Blighty! Whilst I can't vouch for his value for money diplomacy, I will say he does have an outstanding eye for the "hotties" (all of whom were over the age of consent - but please don't call me as a witness for the defence).
Whilst having an eye for the babes certainly puts a bloke in my good books, the very "special" representative has many talents that I don't think get publicized enough so I'll attempt to sing his praises and lament the loss of the "special" representative for British industry. In fact, his talents as a diplomat are undoubted in my view. He also has that spectacular ability to look interested in the inane drivel of investment bankers and captains of industry reserve only for royalty whilst still having an eye constantly roving for any chicks in the room. I once chatted with him at a reception with a group of bankers who were all incredibly in awe of "genuine" royalty, not one person mentioned that he didn't seem to be in the slightest interested in what they had to say about the financial crisis and future of investment banking when an attractive PR lady walked by flicking her hair. Now that's what I call "talent".
He also has that incredible ability to never being able to recall that he's met you whilst still making you feel sort of important in front of your boss. Problem is, he reminds me of another investment banker of whom it was once said "never has so little talent made so much money" (and I'm not referring to Amanda Staveley). Funnily enough, the same banker treads a similar path to the "special" representative but with less success with the babes as he's tucked up in bed nice and early in his pj's dreaming of who he can invite to his next shindig! He too manages to never remember a face but tells everyone that "he's heard so much about ya!" and then asks his colleague who the hell was that weirdo he's just spoken to (without realising that the "weirdo" had sat outside his office for two years). Let's end this unfair comparison, I've plenty more stories to come on the skills of the relentless networker - a common animal in many investment banks and so richly deserving of multi million pound bonuses.
Back to the "special" representative. Freddie once had a pretty amusing brush with the "special" representative thanks to the bigwigs that loiter in the higher echelons of the banking world. Some years ago Freddie was once taken to the Tower of London to explain why he'd had the audacity to embarrass the "special" representative before a high ranking government official. Freddie was a little miffed at the time because he couldn't recall farting the last time he met him and definitely did not get caught checking out the hotties (and there were a few). Thankfully, Freddie wasn't even present at the "embarrassing" event (which was a relief - nothing worse than getting caught in the act), no apparently those pesky sums were the issue again (wouldn't have cared but nobody seemed interested in my excuse that they were the product of the junior team members). Nope, the problem was that the sums were correct but didn't seem to support the more "correct" views of the western world! Interestingly they didn't seem to have used a decent calculator when working out how to charge more lolly for a tumbledown mansion just outside London. Guess the moral of the story here is never to use spreadsheets when the "special" rep is in town. Either way, hat's off to the "special" representative for doing his job.
So what do we conclude here about "special" royalty and business. Well, they certainly do go hand in hand. Question is, is there a net contribution or not? I'm going to be a little controversial and say "slight net gain to the economy" but "bigger net gain to the "special" guy". After all, what's the point in a fellow being Royal if he can't make a few quid on the side? Why do I think there's a slight net gain to the rest of us? People do like a bit of royalty and mystery after all, Americans in particular. Trust me, it's one of the few times I've seen Americans keep quiet and look "starry eyed". It has to be said, the "special" representative did a job nobody else seemed interested in and actually got off his backside and gave it some welly for Blighty. In my book, I say "fair play to you fella"!
Is there a lesson for T0 here? Well, not really and maybe. If I was a marxist I'd say that there's no longer a place for empires and royalty, but I'm not so I won't! On the other hand, if I had a blank sheet of paper, would I mix royalty with business, "nope". But then, I probably wouldn't have overpaid talentless bankers either! On the other hand, the royal families of the Middle East do seem to have an amazing talent for making money that leaves most of us scratching our heads. Maybe this is a lesson in national governance that could be of use for T0 - now that's a controversial thought for the Western world.....
Until next time my friends, when I promise to get a bit more back on theme. In the mean time, let's see if Obama can save the US economy from bankruptcy and the Republicans. No drama, he's got nearly a week left to save the world!
Anyway, he has made an outstanding job of making friends with the newly founded ruling classes of Central Asia and certainly seems to have an eye for the babes. At the same time, there are plenty of CEO's who think he's been pretty good value for Blighty! Whilst I can't vouch for his value for money diplomacy, I will say he does have an outstanding eye for the "hotties" (all of whom were over the age of consent - but please don't call me as a witness for the defence).
Whilst having an eye for the babes certainly puts a bloke in my good books, the very "special" representative has many talents that I don't think get publicized enough so I'll attempt to sing his praises and lament the loss of the "special" representative for British industry. In fact, his talents as a diplomat are undoubted in my view. He also has that spectacular ability to look interested in the inane drivel of investment bankers and captains of industry reserve only for royalty whilst still having an eye constantly roving for any chicks in the room. I once chatted with him at a reception with a group of bankers who were all incredibly in awe of "genuine" royalty, not one person mentioned that he didn't seem to be in the slightest interested in what they had to say about the financial crisis and future of investment banking when an attractive PR lady walked by flicking her hair. Now that's what I call "talent".
He also has that incredible ability to never being able to recall that he's met you whilst still making you feel sort of important in front of your boss. Problem is, he reminds me of another investment banker of whom it was once said "never has so little talent made so much money" (and I'm not referring to Amanda Staveley). Funnily enough, the same banker treads a similar path to the "special" representative but with less success with the babes as he's tucked up in bed nice and early in his pj's dreaming of who he can invite to his next shindig! He too manages to never remember a face but tells everyone that "he's heard so much about ya!" and then asks his colleague who the hell was that weirdo he's just spoken to (without realising that the "weirdo" had sat outside his office for two years). Let's end this unfair comparison, I've plenty more stories to come on the skills of the relentless networker - a common animal in many investment banks and so richly deserving of multi million pound bonuses.
Back to the "special" representative. Freddie once had a pretty amusing brush with the "special" representative thanks to the bigwigs that loiter in the higher echelons of the banking world. Some years ago Freddie was once taken to the Tower of London to explain why he'd had the audacity to embarrass the "special" representative before a high ranking government official. Freddie was a little miffed at the time because he couldn't recall farting the last time he met him and definitely did not get caught checking out the hotties (and there were a few). Thankfully, Freddie wasn't even present at the "embarrassing" event (which was a relief - nothing worse than getting caught in the act), no apparently those pesky sums were the issue again (wouldn't have cared but nobody seemed interested in my excuse that they were the product of the junior team members). Nope, the problem was that the sums were correct but didn't seem to support the more "correct" views of the western world! Interestingly they didn't seem to have used a decent calculator when working out how to charge more lolly for a tumbledown mansion just outside London. Guess the moral of the story here is never to use spreadsheets when the "special" rep is in town. Either way, hat's off to the "special" representative for doing his job.
So what do we conclude here about "special" royalty and business. Well, they certainly do go hand in hand. Question is, is there a net contribution or not? I'm going to be a little controversial and say "slight net gain to the economy" but "bigger net gain to the "special" guy". After all, what's the point in a fellow being Royal if he can't make a few quid on the side? Why do I think there's a slight net gain to the rest of us? People do like a bit of royalty and mystery after all, Americans in particular. Trust me, it's one of the few times I've seen Americans keep quiet and look "starry eyed". It has to be said, the "special" representative did a job nobody else seemed interested in and actually got off his backside and gave it some welly for Blighty. In my book, I say "fair play to you fella"!
Is there a lesson for T0 here? Well, not really and maybe. If I was a marxist I'd say that there's no longer a place for empires and royalty, but I'm not so I won't! On the other hand, if I had a blank sheet of paper, would I mix royalty with business, "nope". But then, I probably wouldn't have overpaid talentless bankers either! On the other hand, the royal families of the Middle East do seem to have an amazing talent for making money that leaves most of us scratching our heads. Maybe this is a lesson in national governance that could be of use for T0 - now that's a controversial thought for the Western world.....
Until next time my friends, when I promise to get a bit more back on theme. In the mean time, let's see if Obama can save the US economy from bankruptcy and the Republicans. No drama, he's got nearly a week left to save the world!
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